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The Coaching Lounge

Discussions to help you reach a state of self-actualization and resonate on the frequency of your life purpose.

Think back to your very first date. How did you prepare for it? I bet that you didn’t just turn up with the expectation that everything would just fall into place.

Way before the moment of that super important event, I reckon there would have been some conscious and unconscious application of thought and energy on what needed to happen to present your super self and leave, knowing that you did your very best to make your interaction go smoothly, maybe even to get to the next date. 

Your practical and mental game-plan might have included something choosing an amazing outfit that made you feel special, comfortable and confident; thinking of interesting snippets of fascinating things you could share, or thought-provoking questions to ask that would ensure an enthralling conversation. 

Then, there’s the emotional stuff that we all get caught up in when we think of going on that first date. On one hand, we think that we’re playing it cool: “Everything will go ok… it will be a breeze.” Or we may be consumed with thoughts of self-doubt: “OMG! Supposing the conversation runs dry? What do I do?” “What if I get flustered!!”

A first date can generate dual emotions. The sense of excited anticipation and positive expectations can intermingle with great internal pressure to ‘get it right’, so much so, that the mere thought of going on a date becomes daunting at the same time. 

Replace ‘dating’ with the word ‘networking’. Does this portrayal of dating feel very much like your networking experience? Does it feel like a pressure to mingle with a crowd of strangers hoping that somebody you meet there will be 'The One'?

Andrew McDonald, Founder and CEO of Possess Your Success, LLC, and an expert on networking asserts: 

“Most times people approach networking almost like a transaction. However, it is about making a connection, like a friendship. You must connect with people, learn about their interests, and care about them. You must also provide them with value; something they desire. When both of your interests are aligned and each person values each other, a relationship is formed and you can use that to fulfill each others needs.”

Andrew McDonald

I think that’s an awesome way to view networking – or even dating come to think of it! MAKE A CONNECTION and SEEK TO LEARN SOMETHING ABOUT THE OTHER PERSON. Sorry for using capitalization that seems to ‘shout at you’, but I think the message in Andrew’s interview needs to come across loud and clear. If you want to hear more of Andrew’s tips on how to establish fruitful and beneficial relationships, then tune into the podcast.

If you don’t tune in today, you might miss an important strategy that could be useful to implement at your next networking event. But I understand your time may be limited, so I’ve made it easy for you to fast forward to some specific gems of interest from Andrew:

05:32 - Focus for success

14:44 - Networking tips for introverts

18:20 - Elements to include in your pitch

27:55 - What to do immediately after a networking event.

 

Reach Andrew here: Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, LinkedIn,

or Periscope http://bit.ly/PYS-MasteringSuccess

You can also e-mail Andrew at amcdonald@possessyoursuccess.com

Download your first two chapters of Andrew’s informative book here: www.possessyoursuccess.com/freechapters and get the book here: http://bit.ly/PYS-MasteringSuccess

Find out more about Rebecca Gordon's coaching here: https://satellitelifecoaching.com/

Find out more about Hal Elrod’s ‘Miracle Morning’ here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U0uRp7BoPVY

Learn about Inroads here: https://inroads.org/

 

Enjoy!

Rebecca

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As I emerged from the airport into the overwhelming heat and vibrancy of my new environment I remember feeling a sense of awe and disbelief to know that I was now in the process of fulfilling a part of my life’s purpose. Eleven hours earlier, I was in balmy Birmingham, boarding the National Express coach to Gatwick and wondering what I could expect on my visit to Tanzania and Kenya.

It was incredible to believe that since wanting to visit Tanzania from the age of 14, I was now on my way! It was even more incredible to know that this 2 week experience had become possible because I had acted upon a thought just a few months earlier. Quite simply, I had an idea that is as crystal clear today as it was then. Some may call it the voice of a higher power or an internal satellite that comes into focus when we are still and recognise the magnetic pull that keeps us on track with our life’s intention. Needless to say, this powerful thought compelled me to make real an idea that I wanted to deliver training in Tanzania and enabled me to realise the wonderful opportunity of making a meaningful contribution to enhancing the lives of others.


On 16th July 2009, I arrived in Dar es Salaam, Tanzania. The sights and sounds of Africa resonated deep within as if stirring a distant memory from centuries gone by. During my two weeks in Tanzania, I recall feeling that the country was strange, yet familiar; the language confounding, yet nostalgic; my hosts strangers, yet like a long lost family. I was truly at home.


During my 10 days voluntary work, I encountered groups of teenagers who aspired to greater things and who wanted to break free of the restrictions of poverty. They had dreams to fulfill and ambitions not only for themselves, but for their families. Most of all, they were naturally talented, determined and totally focused on creating a better life.


“People are people. The similarities we have are much more powerful than the differences.”

Mbeke Waseme


The young people I met were in danger of succumbing (quite easily) to Aids and HIV infection, teenage pregnancy, prostitution, drugs and crime – not due to any lack of ambition, but due to a lack of support, care and guidance from wider society and from those who should know better. It was a harsh realization to see how a lack of positive intervention can quite easily set into motion a chain of events that leaves a legacy of poverty that impacts upon generations.


Needless to say, I learned a valuable lesson from the young people in Tanzania. It is that we should have a vision and do one thing every day to work towards this. I encountered young people who lived their dreams – perhaps not on the scale that we in the West may determine as significant, yet the smallest achievement towards a goal for some of the youngsters I met were against the odds for many in Tanzania.


Transferring my thoughts, knowledge and awareness of ‘life goal mapping’ was empowering for the young people. Amongst some of the positive outcomes was that from 24 year old Mponda. He asserted that as a direct result of the workshops, a new goal he implemented was to open a bank account and to save a set amount of money each week.


His learning from goal mapping was to stop taking money out with him every day and to become accountable for his daily expenditure. Rachel wants to be a dancer. From the workshops, she learned that creating a Vision Board would help her to keep her goals focused and real. Juliette wants to be a journalist. She agreed to keep a journal and write something every day in order to sharpen her skills in writing.


How many of us here would be as excited at carrying out (what may seem) small steps that serve a vital purpose of massively shifting the current reality?


In my recent podcast interview with Mbeke Waseme, I learned more about her specialist coaching that helps people experience profound benefits of living and working overseas. Mbeke explains some of the practical, emotional, mental and physical considerations, that when taken into account, can make the journey so much more of a heightened and invaluable experience. She shares why living and working abroad not only reconnects you with yourself, reframes your mind but enriches your life in a myriad of ways.


If you have ever wondered about the practicalities of immersing yourself in another culture and environment you will gain much from this podcast. You will be ready to take the next step in your life journey of self-exploration and self-growth that comes hand in hand with working and living overseas.


© Adapted from a blog written by Rebecca Gordon in 2009.


Rebecca Gordon is the Self-Actualization Coach at Satellite Life Coaching in Birmingham, UK. Visit www.satellitelifecoaching for free coaching tools and access Self-Actualization Coaching.


Links

https://www.linkedin.com/in/mbekewaseme

www.satellitelifecoaching.com

http://www.sethgodin.com/sg/

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9 Simple Ways to Prioritize Your Well-being

Simple things can motivate and inspire us to feel better. When we feel better, we do better and so have better life experiences. Here are 9 activities that are doable, yet simple, and will make a massive difference in your achievement of a balanced life.


1. Give gratitude: If you are reading this, you can breathe! You have use of your senses! You are able to comprehend! Think of what you have around you - the things you possess, a roof over your head, a bed to lie in,clothes to wear. By acknowledging and giving gratitude, this creates the energy for more good things to flow into your life. What do you give gratitude for?


2. Smile! Try this - SMILE. That's right: SMILE! Don't you feel better already?! Think of a wonderful experience, a happy moment,holidays, fun time spent with family or friends. Too often, we dwell on thoughts that are non-supportive to our positive well-being. Smiling stimulates the manufacture of serotonin in the brain. This 'happy chemical' controls moods and makes us feel better, less anxious and less stressed. Make an effort to smile when you feel down. Notice how your outlook on a situation changes as a result.


3. Get Perspective: In a challenging situation, ask yourself: 'What's the worst that can happen?' In a year's time what will I think about this? What's another way to look at this?' Make the effort to see your difficult issue from the opposing viewpoint. By challenging surface thinking you will immediately develop an empowering perspective.


Life is amazingly good when it's simple and
amazingly simple when it's good.
Terri Guillemets
 

4. Get Moving! Play an upbeat song and do a wild and exaggerated dance around the bedroom; have a regular workout at the gym; go for a walk. Do whatever it takes to raise your flow of chi. Chi is the universal force of energy that is vital to life. Keep this flowing and feel the difference in your motivation and energy levels.


5. Say Hi and Listen! Did you know that the Custard Factory in Digbeth, Birmingham, is named after Alfred Bird who invented custard in the1800s? Bird was a pharmacist who also invented baking powder. These interesting facts emerged in a random conversation I struck up with someone whilst having a random chat with a random stranger whilst enjoying a ‘reward sauna’ after a perfect workout. Today, talk to someone you don't know. Show interest in them,ask questions and focus on this objective: "I will learn something from this person today."


6. Do Nothing – Pareto’s 80/20 Rule stipulates that 20% of input leads to 80% of output or results. Why not input 10 minutes of devoted 'do nothing' time into your daily routine. Find a comfortable, quiet place. Sit upright. Close your eyes.  Practice and enjoy silencing the mind. This might be difficult to do at first as random fleeting thoughts may come and go.With practice you will improve your ability to meditate in this 'do nothing' state. Set an alarm to sound after 10 minutes. In allowing time for inner peace, calm and tranquility,you will feel much more energised to accomplish tasks on your daily agenda and do so with renewed vigour.


7. Enjoy something: What activity takes you into that state of being so totally absorbed that nothing else matters? What do you focus on that challenges you, yet gives a total sense of satisfaction when completed? Create a list of 5 things you enjoy doing - whatever it is that makes time not matter. This could be painting, playing a musical instrument, writing a short story, or a poem, for example. For me it's immersing myself in a good book or playing Solitaire. Once you've decided on the tasks, choose one and 'make it happen'. Build this activity into your weekly routine.


8. Be Different: Do something out of the ordinary. Perhaps change your style of clothing; take a different route to work; have a conversation about something you wouldn't usually talk about; go to the gym at a different time. Shake up your routine in some way. As you shift into the zone of new experiences, treat this as a ‘Field Experiment on Self’. Record your observations. What did you enjoy about doing things differently? What interesting things happened? How can you create more 'differences’ that bring you a greater sense of balanced well-being?


Be content with what you have, rejoice in the way thingsare. 

When you realizethere is nothing lacking,
the whole world belongs to you. 
Lao Tzu


These simple, yetpowerful ways to find balance will help you maintain equanimity so that yourwell-being remains your priority.

 

9. Discover the ‘Nurturing Journey’: Tune into my insightful and inspirational conversation with Monica Douglas-Clark.  AsI engaged with Monica, I felt serene, calm and peaceful. In our discussion, we touched on the role and importance of self-compassion and self-care. In my podcast you will learn about Monica’s passion for her initiative ‘The Nurturing Journey’, why she is known as The ‘Rebel Rev’ and how you can be a part of her journey.


Links:
satellitelifecoaching.com
rebelrev.net
self-compassion.org/

© Written by Rebecca Gordon.

 

Rebecca is the CEO of Satellite Life Coaching,an Educator, Podcaster and a Lover of Life!

 

If you would like to let people know aboutyour passion, initiative or have an interesting life story to share with theworld send me a message and I will send you info on how to be on the show.



 

www.satellitelifecoaching.com

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More often than not we talk to others in a loving and kind way because we are mindful not to hurt their feelings. Yet how much care do we take to monitor our own self-talk that comes in the form of thoughts?


Some time ago I attended a conference where John Kehoe explained this using the concept of Mind Power. Amongst the statements he made that day are: ‘thoughts are things’and ‘your thoughts know you, oh so well’. John raised awareness of how the mind can hold onto thoughts as absolute truths, even though they may be unhelpful or unconstructive.  


There are times when I have caught myself entertaining non-supportive mind chatter. Disempowering thoughts that start as a whisper, gradually turn into nagging, disapproving judgements such as: “I’m so stupid...!”     “I can’t do this...!”   “Life is hard...!”   “I’llnever be any good at this....”   “I’m an idiot...” Without disassociation that comes by consciously being an observer of the mind such conclusions remain unchallenged.  Thoughts are allowed to weave their way deep into the psyche as their validity and accuracy is unquestioned.


Thoughts that are repeated enough become beliefs that quickly translate into reality. Beliefs canthen be likened to magnets that attract conditions and situations into your life as the energy of the belief becomes an entity in the guise of a thought form. ‘Thoughts are things.


Being an observer of your thoughts is to take responsibility for filtering unhelpful self-generated opinions that do not contribute to creating the vision of a satisfying life. The author of The Biology of Belief, Bruce Lipton expresses this poignant observation superbly: ‘atoms absorb the thoughts that we have, which when reflected in sound waves through the words that we utter, resonate within our bodies and are immersed within the chemical structure. This eventually leads to a manifestation of your reality, through the signals that your cells transmit.’


 ‘I believe that 99.999 percent of the cells in my brain and body want me to be happy, healthy and successful.”

Dr Jill Bolte-Taylor


The focus then is on cultivating the 99.999 percent instead of feeding the 0.1 percent. Here are three tools that can help you shift the focus from the 0.1 percent onto the thoughts that matter the most.


Tool#1

Sit upright or lay down on your back and place your palms up in the ‘open to receive’ position. Breathe in and out deeply several times. Raise this thought:


“I AM open to receive all that serves my highest good that is coming my way. And it is so.”


Repeat this aloud several times. Each time, feel the vibration resonate through your physical structure, your cells, your energy field. In your mind’s eye, imagine this vibration rippling out into the atmosphere and into the energy field of the Universe. Spend as much time that you need in this moment.


Allow the Universe to send the assistance you need. Be open to what is presented, whether this be flashes of insights or synchronicities.The ripple effect of your positive thought will shift your perception and allowa new way to open up. By taking conscious steps to re-direct thinking life outcomes can radically shift.


Tool#2

Make it your business to check in on your thoughts and challenge any beliefs that do not serve your highest good. Whenever you find your thought pattern getting comfortable in a negative feedback loop, be reminded that ‘your thoughts know you so well’. Your role is to present the challenge to interrupt the pattern. Ask yourself:


  • What am I thinking about this?
  • Is this thought helping me right now?
  • What’s an alternative thought that I can choose?
  • What are all the reasons that make this new thought absolutely true?


Through this process of metacognition, in which you objectively think about your thinking, you become the observer. In this position you are better able to positively influence your reaction and actions that again will shift the energy and make a difference to the outcome.


Tool#3

Thinking about something in an abstract way encourages creative ideas to spring forward. This is because the mind is stretched to discover new meaning beyond the obvious. In this way, new perspectives are uncovered with inspirational thoughts on how to resolve a problem or surpass a challenge. Use this Abstract Thinking Tool to stimulate your thinking when you are not sure what to do and need fresh ideas.


Get your FREE Abstract ThinkingSelf-Coaching Tool here: bit.ly/1qbJLS2


How powerful it is to take a moment to challengeand change the internal script!  I discussed this very thought with Emotional Re-set Coach and CBT Therapist, Joy Langley, founder of Catch A Thought who joined me in The Coaching Lounge. Joy provides practical strategies that help her clients feel more confident about relationships, inspires them to make dreams a reality and gives them a longer lasting sense of peace. Tune in to hear our thoughts on conscious mind management and how this can help you reach your full potential. 


Written by Rebecca Gordon, CEO of www.satellitelifecoaching.com.

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What is the routine ‘off-duty’ activity you engage in that counterbalances your ‘busy’? I know that you are so passionate about what you do in your work or business that it is so easy to end up burning the midnight oil.


I know that you want to get everything done before looming deadlines come to pass. I know the feeling because I’ve been there too. I was so focused on making my business a success that I dedicated 90% of my 365 to being constantly ‘on task’. 


I felt guilty about immersing myself in ‘do nothing moments’ and struggled with setting healthy boundaries because I wanted so much to be of service in my spiritual based business. 


Now, fully embracing the wisdom that being older and confident brings I find that my time-focus has shifted. My current reality perfectly exemplifies the Pareto Principle, in that, when I take time to step back from the roller-coaster that being in business can create, my creativity and results are magnified when I get back in the saddle.


Prioritizing physical, mental and spiritual practices that promote healing and health is sensible use of time that is essential for success. 


Yet, if we are not conscious of healing for success, a hectic pace of life can easily hijack good intentions of takingtime out to do the things that nurtures  our spirit. The consequence is that we spend more time slogging away and less time on self-restorative and self-renewal practices.


Principles of healthy living can so easily get reduced to being done in snatches of time as our schedules become ridiculously packed with a list of urgent and importantthings to do. This jeopardizes application of the One Thing that would make all the difference if it were afforded complete focus.


Constantly working on getting yourself out there and raising your game can take its toll on the most motivated and organized person. That’s why it’s so important to make self-care a feature in your life.


"Work-life balance is a broad concept including proper prioritizing Between “work” (career and ambition) onone hand and “life” (health, pleasure, leisure, family andspiritual development) on the other."


If your nights merge into days and you find yourself getting digital because there’s just so much to do, then it’s time to stop and give yourself a break.


Here are some life-balance questions I’d like you to reflect on right now:

1.  What’s the one thing to do, such that by doing it, will lead to more harmony in your life?

2.  How do you ground yourself?

3.  What are some healthy boundaries you have in place that demonstrate respect for your time?

4.  Who do you need to tell?


 Here are three quick insights:

#1 - Being a high achiever is as much about what you say NO to, as much as saying yes to everything that passes your way.


#2 - If you feel the need for equilibrium, then one thing to do today is to create a self-supportive space to heal and restore your energy, so that you can flourish physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually. 


#3 - By embracing self-care strategies that nurture your spirit, you will boost your energy, thereby be better able to contribute more to those you serve in your business or work. 


I interviewed NHS Accredited Healer and Director of Relief From Pain Healing Clinics, Ann Boone who discussed these very principles with me in The Coaching Lounge. Listen to this interview to learn:

·    How to protect yourself from energy zappers and stand up for your energy.

·    What can happen when you consciously utilize healing as a key resource for success.

·    Why you need to pay more attention to your intuition.


Links

Anne Boone: http://www.relieffrompain.org/

Rebecca Gordon: http://satellitelifecoaching.com/

Dr Mercola: http://articles.mercola.com/sites/articles/archive/2015/11/21/grounding-effects.aspx

 


About Rebecca Gordon

The founder of Satellite Life Coaching & Training, Rebecca is qualified with a distinction in Personal Performance Coaching and has qualifications in management, NLP, teaching, training and mentoring.

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Whilst going about our daily business, we are constantly bombarded with advertisements that compete for our attention. The hidden messages that relentlessly invade our mindspace conjur up thoughts of: ‘you’re not good enough,’ ‘you don’t have enough’, or ‘you must have this particular thing in your life to be a better person.’

During my first visit to Ghana in 2005, I remember travelling through the bustling, vibrant city of the capital, Accra. I was in awe of the massive billboards that towered over the highways. Although the messages I received from these advertisements were much the same as those I see here in the UK – there was one stark difference. The images projected on the immense displays depicted people who look like me.  

As a black woman born and grown in the UK, I would like to know that I am accurately and positively represented in the media. Despite the distance we have travelled, it is sad to know that the thousands of people who identify as Black here in the UK,  are still disproportionately represented on TV and the radio. When we are given a presence, the subtle and not so subtle stereotypes that lead to misconceptions of black people are clear to see. Take the two Sandras from Gogglebox for example.  
 
This has me thinking: Who represents me in the mainstream media? What messages do these representations portray about who I truly am and what I truly need or want in my life? What needs to happen to re-dress the misconceptions?

The concept of the Looking Glass Self by Charles Cooley, asserts that an individual’s self-concept is directly influenced by how they believe they are seen by others.  Simply put, ‘your thoughts about yourself are influenced by the responses and evaluations of those in your environment.’

The subliminal messages that feed into the unconscious mind through the various media channels, are those that we will automatically draw upon. These are not always positive, therefore it will serve us well to be discerning in what we choose to filter.

My guest in the Coaching Lounge, Dr Shani Byard, is the Pioneer and Owner of Message Media Education and Professor of critical media literacy at UCLA.  Dr Shani discusses the implications of misconceptions of black people in the media and how the  Afro Media Literacy Framework she has devised addresses unconscious racism and stereotypes.
 
www.messagemediaed.org
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eCt4Uvxxf8w
www.satellitelifecoaching.com

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